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[转帖] Humor: TVB to Remake Hollywood Classics

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发表于 2006-2-28 08:11:48 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

Credit to Jayne

From http://jaynestars.com/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=116

Humor: TVB to Remake Hollywood Classics

Fast forward to year 2007, TVB is still experiencing an all time ratings slump, with many shows not even averaging 20 points. Are the Hong Kong housewives, who make up the majority of TV viewship, that hard to please?

Martial arts series have pulled in consistent low ratings. TVB has lost its valuable alliance with Louis Cha (aka Jing Yong) many years ago. Now author Huang Yi has threatened TVB to stop making low-performing series out of his novels as well.

Desperate to revive its ratings, TVB decides to remake several Hollywood classics and cast its best and brightest actors in the grand productions.

Title: CAPED WONDER SUPERMAN

TVB decides to remake "Superman," starring Ron Ng Cheuk Hei as Clark Kent and Tavia Yeung Yi as his girlfriend, Lois. As Ron has demonstrated that he has super-human-like skills in the past year by filming TV series, movies, releasing music albums, staging sold-out concerts, etc. only Ron Ng is fit to play the role of Superman. Must Watch For:

1. Ron Ng in blue tights and red underwear, which he wears in public. Amazing stunts performed by Ron; no wires! How will Ron Ng save Hong Kong, fight crime, and win the love of his life?

2. Tavia and Ron's sizzling chemistry in upcoming "Superman" series. You've seen their passionate kissing in "The Academy." Now watch for Tavia ripping off Ron's shirt to discover his secret identity as Superman!

3. Since Superman doesn't wear a mask and Clark Kent's only disguise is his heavy eyeglasses, you've probably always wondered why nobody can figure out Superman's real identity? For the first time, TVB's intelligent scriptwriters will answer this hard question!

Title: INDIANA RAY

In 2007, Raymond Lam Fung has become TVB's #1 Brother, ousting Roger Kwok and winning the Best Actor Award at last year's anniversary. TVB decides to create a custom role for Raymond to maintain his status as "Sexiest Man Alive" for the critical housewives market.

Must Watch For:

1. TVB will film at exotic locations like Egypt, Mongolia, and Madagascar. Raymond will star in the 100 episode "Indiana Ray," playing the title adventurer role. Raymond will find the world's greatest lost treasures, fight savage tribes in unknown islands, and save the world!

2. The Director promises to make sure that Raymond will keep his shirt un-buttoned for the entire 100 episodes, "Everything about the series is great! Great plot, great CG effects etc! But in order to make sure that ratings will be over-the-top, we had to make sure our leading man shows enough skin."

Raymond in response to being labelled as sex object, "I'm flattered! Please continue to support me and support TVB! Do not buy pirated VCD's!"

Title: TROY

Must Watch For:

Bernice Liu Bik Yee as Helen of Troy, the beautiful woman that launched a thousand ships and instigated the Trojan War. Equally beautiful Kevin Cheng stars as Helen's lover, Paris.

Kevin filming battle scenes in a short flimsy skirt has driven the media wild! All the HK tabloids are rushing to get uncensored photos of Kevin. Kevin said, "The skirt is very revealing! But I have protected myself from over exposure by wearing shorts underneath. Yesterday, the papparrazzi were following me around, hoping to take scandalous 'upskirt' photos of me! They are despicable!"

Title: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

Eager for a critically acclaimed piece, TVB remakes "Brokeback Mountain," after the movie scored multiple awards overseas, including the Oscars in the United States. "Brokeback Mountain" promises to further test the acting talents of rising star, Bosco Wong Chung Chak.

Must Watch For:

The beautiful mountain scenery...the beautiful male leads and a daring love scene guaranteed to shake the entire Hong Kong! The must-see gay cowboy movie! But Jayne, there are no cowboys in Hong Kong, wouldn't that be a problem? No because Hong Kong is becoming more openly gay now; it will have a huge following....

When asked how Bosco feels about landing the lead part in "Brokeback Mountain," he said, "At first I didn't want to take the role. You know I am a very hetersexual male; I don't want to be a gay cowboy! I am afraid I will become too involved in the part...you know what I mean? And then there are the intimate scenes, but the Director promised me that he'll film in very dim lights. TVB promised me that EVERYONE will notice my acting if I do this. It's a guaranteed critical success, so I will sacrifice for artistic merit. Actually 'Brokeback Mountain' has a great love story, a touching story of human kind. You must watch it even if you are not gay!"

 楼主| 发表于 2006-2-28 08:13:11 | 显示全部楼层

Jayne's DISCLAIMER: This Hollywood parody is written for entertainment purposes only. Haha...since I wrote this humor article in a "reporter style," just wanted to make sure you guys don't really expect TVB to remake these Hollywood classics.

 楼主| 发表于 2006-2-28 08:14:52 | 显示全部楼层

很有创意。 笑死我了。

发表于 2006-2-28 13:48:35 | 显示全部楼层

。。。。。。呵呵。。

第一张最逗了。。。

发表于 2006-2-28 15:54:39 | 显示全部楼层
文章看不懂~~图片蛮可爱的哈
 楼主| 发表于 2006-3-13 13:16:18 | 显示全部楼层
Ha...ha...  HK's "3Weekly" featured Jayne's work.

发表于 2006-3-13 13:22:02 | 显示全部楼层
会吗?这可要庞大的资金支持的也。
 楼主| 发表于 2006-3-13 13:25:36 | 显示全部楼层
不会啦。 Jayne搞笑的。
她都说(DISCLAIMER):
you guys don't really expect TVB to remake these Hollywood classics.  

发表于 2006-3-13 16:42:27 | 显示全部楼层
TVB 最抠门了!
发表于 2006-3-19 11:59:18 | 显示全部楼层
好厉害的帖子!
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